Choosing is Confusing!

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

11:32 PM

I'm sleepy. But sleeping is not yet on my mind. I want to make use of these precious moments at home! Yeah. We do not have classes tomorrow 'til Friday. It's Saint Thomas day. I'm not sure if it's his birthday, I think it's his feast. Whatever.

I was grade VI then when I first wished for a digital diary. I'm very much fond of recording the daily happenings of my life then in a notebook. My classmate, Farrah, (oh I remember, it was first year high school) when she mentioned to me about his sister's digital diary given by their father. 'cause she was given a voice recorder which she brought the day we talked about the diary. From then on, I always wanted to have a digital diary! Like a laptop. And now, I have it. I can do whatever writings I want to do!! :)

I always love writing. I don't know why I chose journalism as my course. Honestly, when I clicked the course journalism in the list of the courses, I never thought I love to write because all I know is that, I always want to do hosting, stage performing, film, directing, you know, works that are probably works of those in the Mass Communication field. But I don't know, I landed to journalism. 'til now, I don't know if it is really for me because I don't think so. Yes. I love to write but not journalistically. Just free writing. Writing for expression. Expression of… everything! I want to write about those I'm interested in. News writing is boring. I'm telling you! I had it for one semester and it was not a happy subject. Somehow, it is interesting because you'll be making news to the public. And news is a news! But if ever I do news writing someday, I think I'll just do it because it's my job. If ever I master all the rules in news writing and become a very good writer, columnist or even an editor-in-chief, I think it will not give me the feeling of fulfillment. Because it's a different thing when you love what you are doing. You know you are satisfied when you have done a work with your heart in it. That you did it because you want to and you love doing it.

Heart: I WANT TO SHIFT COURSE!

Mind: BUT THERE ARE COMPLICATIONS. MOST OF THEM, YOU WONT LIKE.

I'm thinking of a really complicated situation. This confuses me and I can’t decide it myself. I need grace from God. I think that is the best thing to do. To wait for his plans. For now, I'll do my part. Study.